literature

shall i?

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Literature Text

panic, panic.
all i want to do is panic.
let it bubble over,
let tears spill out,
sob, whine in the back of my throat,
hands shaking, stomach twisting.
i want to panic.
i can't, can't panic.
these pills dull my system,
make me lethargic,
slower,
and really, i want to panic,
that'd be more normal for me.
whatever, fuck it.

"The radio aches a little tune that tells the story of what the night/is thinking. It's thinking of love./It's thinking of stabbing us to death/and leaving our bodies in a dumpster./That's a nice touch, stains in the night, whiskey and kisses for everyone." ~ "Little Beast" Richard Siken

"Someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure./I'm sure you remember, I was on the phone with you, sweetheart." ~ "Little Beast" Richard Siken

"I want to tell you this story without having to confess anything,/without having to say that I ran out into the stree to prove something,/that he didn't love me,/that I want to be thrown over, possessed./I want to tell you this story without having to be in it:/Max in the wrong clothes. Max at the party, drunk again./Max in the kitchen, in refrigerator light, his hands around the neck of a beer./Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more./I'm surprised that I say it with feeling./There's a thing in my stomach about this. A simple thing. The last rung." ~ "The Torn-Up Road" Richard Siken
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