cracks like crevasses

when the sun sets, and dusk falls upon us, there's a blanket that sweeps over you. the rapid pitter-patter of your heart, and we're falling apart, aren't we? this is not the way i wanted it to be, but this happened, and you can't help but choke on the bile of your forgotten innocence. and i really hate you, for everything that you've done and never admitted to. this is our forlorn story, and i can't bring myself to forgive you for all of this.

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i speak like i know what i'm talking about, even if the sting of defeat is looming right over my heart. i push forward and pretend that your prying eyes aren't wrapping around my neck until i choke. until i see sparkles in the corners of my eyes, and wrap my fingers around your throat, and i hope you can't breathe. i hope your deception digs you a grave and buries you alive.

--

i was okay, i really was. i was floating on a cloud, up in the sky. until it dissipated from beneath me and i was crashing back down to the ground. breaking and crumbling to pieces. like a fine porcelain plate. because these cracks in my facade are more like giant crevasses.

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you weren't meant to be like this, and i wasn't meant to ache this much. every puncture in my body, and every puncture in your body, adds another skeleton to the collection i've been hiding. it's grown to extraodinary amounts. i'm surprised and thrilled, that my life has been forced into a closet, to hide amongst the musty clothes of my forgotten past where the old me lies bruised and beaten and lost. i can't be found, for i'm hidden too deeply.